artist anxiety

Full Text:

for so long to focus on myself

was a waste of time

I must type, I must edit, I must meet, I must call, I must shop, I must work I must work I must work

and all I want to do is create

but when I find the space -

I throw it away

excuses pile up

it’s not the right time, it’s too early, it’s too late, I don’t have what I need, I need to drink, I need to smoke, I need to, I need to -

all I want to do let my imagination dance a blank page but my mind screams

where’s the inspiration, my room isn’t clean, I have to clean, I have to study, I have to, I have to, I have to -

there’s a list of ideas sitting in my notes tab, sitting in my google docs, sitting in numerous journals

but I can’t move. paralyzed. by choice. By space. by freedom.

you’re not good enough. Not just yet, you must wait for the perfect time, you need help, reach out to see if someone will collab with you, you need validation, pitch the idea first, wait don’t embarrass yourself, write up new ideas that are more doable to pursue -

maybe tomorrow.